目前分類:I Am Love 我愛故我在 (6)

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Trust the wait 

俗話說感情有七年之癢

那我想遠距戀愛就有七個月危機

昨天我們的遠距滿七個月了

布裘在鬧離婚,而我有快放棄的感覺

他今年想來台灣過冬的計畫可能無法實現

原本想好的計畫一直在變

覺得我們可以團圓的那一天遙遙無期充滿荊棘

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時光飛逝

不知不覺地我今年要滿三十歲了!

之前對三十這個數字有一種莫名的恐懼

天哪! 我要三十了!!! 好像什麼都該要有而我什麼都沒有~ 怎麼不會心慌?

同時間又學習著轉念思考關於社會加諸在我們身上的種種期待

學習那些從大人們學到的觀念思想並不是唯一的真理

有一天猛然發現人類的法則不等於宇宙的真理

從小到大我們深信不疑的一切其實很多是假的!

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My roses died...even though I tried hard to take care of them...

 

Those roses represent all the short-lived relationships I have had, especially since last year.

I don't want to wander, to be lost and homeless, yet I have no choices.

I tried hard searching and wandering, but I am tired of it.

Time to...stop searching, stop wanting, and just be still and look within.

I know I still carry lots of pains from the past.

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很奇妙地最近異性緣變好

在短短時間內前後有五個人跟我說喜歡我 (包括之前提過的兩個)

真是令我受寵若驚!

我想我大概知道為什麼有這麼大的差別待遇

當我真正地喜歡上自己, 找到自己並找到和做自己熱愛的事

這個世界也喜歡上你

 

最近我總是很喜歡說: The universe granted my/your wishes! :)

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I am always too excited about the new person who shows up in my life that I would scare them away quickly by devoting myself into the relationship so intensely.

 

我知道我要學習克制這種習慣及衝動

我知道我要學習花時間觀察一個人而不是一開始就一股腦兒栽下去

我知道....

 

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I feel grieved for what happened recently.

I thought that's what I wanted, regardless hurting my most beloved one.

Have I changed? I would say it's I have more courage now to pursue what I really want without considering others' feelings.

I feel so sad to see you cry, and also guilty that I don't feel as sad as you to leave this relationship, even though I know you gave everything you have to me and tried the best to make this relationship work.

You have been always the one who support and encourage me all the time and I am so used to it. I am used to talking to you everyday without trying to reach you, because you have always tried to reach me first.

I finally make up my mind to tell you what I want without thinking the fact that you won't be available for me anytime anymore.

You told me it's impossible to be like we were before, then I realized I am so selfish to want you to keep being my good friend after I do such thing to you.

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